A Nancy Grace Parody: Nancy GraceLess

The State of Texas
v.
I.M.

“Joining me, Nancy GraceLess, tonight are the two named partners from Scott, Free, & Associates, the pre-eminent defense firm in the country. They’ll be discussing Texas v. I.M. But first, here’s a word from tonight’s sponsor, Scott, Free, & Associates.”

scott, free, & associates

“And we’re back. So Mr. Scott, Free can you explain why this case is so important?”

“Well it’s pretty simple, Nancy. This case may rewrite criminal law here in America.”

“That doesn’t sound simple at all. #NancyDoesn’tGetIt”

“If Texas v. I.M. proceeds past summary judgment, the prosecution has made it clear it will enforce the new, and highly controversial, GBH statute.”

“Let’s be clear, Mr. Scott. What does GBH stand for?”

“Nancy, what it boils down to is grievous bludgeoning harm.”

“Speaking of boiling things down, on tomorrow’s show we’ll look at the case against Laverne Hall. Did she murder her husband and his lover in a hot tub, you decide. #BoiledToDeath”

boiling's humane post
© B. Mac’ 2015

“Um, okay….”

“Nancy, if I may, the GBH statute is controversial because of its potentially discriminatory impact.”

“Discrimination is always welcome on my show, Mr. Free. #GraceLessSays”

“Yes, well, many believe this statute singles out a small group of people and subjects them to potential harassment, frivolous law suits, and legal actions, like this case.”

“Enough legalese Mr. Free, let’s boil things down again. The group you’re worried about consists solely of super people like your client, Iron Man. The GBH statute aims to curtail the serious and dangerous collateral damage he and his kind leave behind.

So Mr. Free exactly what kind of bludgeoning must we normal people learn to take? #SuperBeatDown”

“Nancy, that statement’s clearly unfair, misleading, and patently biased.”

“Thank you Mr. Free. Now Mr. Scott isn’t it true the man bludgeoned by your client was innocently walking home when he was savagely attacked by Iron Man? #IronManOrBully”

“We have no comment.”

“That’s okay. On Nancy GraceLess I let the injuries speak for themselves Mr. Scott.”

bludgeoning injuries post
© B. Mac’ 2015

 

“That’s all the time we have tonight. Did Iron Man’s bludgeoning of an innocent bystander go too far? Share your thoughts, #IronManOrMenace.

And tune in tomorrow when we look at the Hot Tub Murders, and all the dirty secrets bubbling to the surface. #RubADubDubTwoDeadBodiesInATub”


I wrote this parody in response to the BlogBattle prompt, bludgeon. I stumbled on the post and the idea hit me almost instantly so I had to pursue it. And Nancy Grace just fits because, let’s face it, she’s made a career out of bludgeoning everything from the facts to her guests.

As much as I might like the car pictured above, it isn’t mine. Still I think there’s more than one story that plate has to tell, so faithful readers you may see it again. And lastly B.Mac’s illustration are tots awesome! If you missed her first two, here they are again.

Photo by Indian Macgyver
Illustrations by B. Mac’
© Chic Prune 2015

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23 thoughts on “A Nancy Grace Parody: Nancy GraceLess

    1. no worries, all is good here on my end. just busier than i used to be which is good but it’s cutting into my blogging time which is bad.

      i need to read some of your posts too, i’ll make it my weekend treat. i keep seeing all your great eye catching pics and miss hearing what’s new with you 🙂

      things good on your end?

      Like

      1. Great to hear all is good. Lack of time is an issue for all things we like doing the most.
        No worries. Let’s read each other’s post when we have quality time, otherwise we just go for ‘likes’ and that’s not good.
        Life is good over here. Healthy and happy, so the rest happens.
        I haven’t been writing a lot but mostly photographing until I signed up for writing101 this week. I’m still figuring out if I was insane when doing it as it takes a lot of time plus the time I already need to run the blog. I hate to not reply to comments timely and also to not have time to follow the posts of my blog buddies.
        But hey, I’m going to find an equally insane way to go through it smiling.
        Cheers.

        Like

      2. i took writing 101 201 last winter and used the opportunity to see how i could apply what wordpress editors were saying to what i was doing.

        the lessons then were trying to focus us on writing longer posts. i learned more than i posted, still am learning. but i too was overwhelmed at that time, keeping up in blogging u courses is hard.

        what are the lessons for writing 101 this time around?

        p.s. your plan for reading each others’ posts sounds like a winner!

        *updated

        Like

    1. i blame the current marvel movie mania, how many movies can they churn out. they’re mostly a blur now, which is both good and bad.

      the bad part i don’t really feel like seeing any more. the good part, i don’t really think i’m missing anything either.

      Like

      1. I know…It’s easy to get behind and then I feel bad if someone I follow mentions something in a later blog and I don’t know what they are talking about. It’s a bit like homework, isn’t it? Having the Reader makes it easier, though.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. i agree it can feel like you’re missing out but on the flip side it can turn out to be a tiny surprise if you click back and read the missed post – a 2 for 1 deal that can’t be beat.

        who says there’s no such thing as a free lunch (well besides my 5th grade civics teacher)!

        Like

  1. Oh, man! How did I miss this? So sorry, my friend! I’m going to add your stuff to the #BlogBattle pages right now. It even has a link back, so I should have gotten a ping. I must have missed it! I wasn’t ignoring you, I promise! 😦 I loved the irony in this story . . . (haha irony.) 🙂

    Like

    1. well i’m just thrilled you found it! so no worries. (i see you left another comment so i’m skipping there to write more) oh glad you enjoyed the parody. i had fun writing it and wouldn’t have without your prompt.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. i just wish i had a little more time to train 😉

        p.s. i way overextended myself this week blogging wise, so while i may throw a punch or two i don’t expect to make it past the first round.

        more seriously i may have to post late on tuesday.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. haha! It’s mock battles, really, so it’s all about the training! Jump in with whatever you got! You might be surprised. 🙂 I understand about overextending oneself, though, so no worries! I’ll just keep hounding you. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I don’t know how I managed to miss this post, but I did. . Sorry. Better late than never I suppose. I love the story. I don’t know about Nancy Grace, but I think the story is great anyway. the idea of superheroes being defended by dodgy lawyers and TV hosts questioning them like we do politicians is brilliant. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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