How Not To Make Croissants

how not to make coming soon
Step 1: Don’t Even Try, was fun to write and share. So without further adieu, let’s get on with the dough.

Step 2: A Recipe for Disaster

The surest way to a kitchen disaster, at least when cooking something new, is to trust all your ingredients to one recipe. It’s like putting all your proverbial eggs in one basket. Which begs the question, why’s it so hard to find farm fresh proverbial eggs.*

*Still, I imagine they taste great.
*Still, I imagine they taste great.

It’s also why I’m using three different recipe resources. The Cook’s Illustrated Cookbook is my go-to resource. It’s terrifically clear and tells you why you’re doing something, as opposed to, only telling you what to do.

Unfortunately this time around TCIC told me to, laminate the dough. Now I’ve heard of laminate paper and laminate wood flooring but both sound as tasty as, well, wood.

© B. Mac' 2015
© B. Mac’ 2015

So I’m also consulting Fine Cooking’s croissant recipe, and this Martha Stewart Bakes video. The information and instructions are similar but the visuals in both help clarify those fret inducing steps like, laminate the dough.

Seriously, there’s got to be a better word for this step. How about, layer the dough? Or stuff the dough? Or grease it up? Or anything but laminate the dough? These are just my suggestions. Do y’all have any?

Consulting different recipes can feel like a lot of unnecessary work, but it can save you a lot of leftovers in the long run. Two Thanksgivings and 6 soupy, runny chocolate pecan pies taught me that.

Try as I might, I couldn’t make the recipe work. It wasn’t until I switched to a butterscotch pecan pie recipe that I fixed my dark chocolate pecan pie. Don’t take my word for it, though, judge for yourselves.

technology still has a way to go.
Technology still has a way to go.

Looking at all these different recipes one thing is clear, good butter matters. Not only is using fattier European butter one of four tips from Easy Tiger head baker David Norman, it’s also specifically stated in TCIC. Luckily my bread gets hot for imported butter already, specifically Lurpak.

© B. Mac' 2015
© B. Mac’ 2015

Well that’s it, now all that’s left is actually making the croissants. Step 3 will take time, but that means there’s time for you to join in. Choose your own recipes or the ones up above, pick up some butter with a thick accent, and even throw in an extra ingredient (if you want).

Tweet me your pics and I’ll include as many as I can in the final post. In Indian Macgyver’s kitchen there can never be too many cooks.

To quote the tenth Doctor, Allons-Y!

Hand-drawn illustrations by B. Mac’, my sister. You can find out more about her, like what the B. stands for, in the upcoming post How To Live with Your Sister Sibling and Still Like Her Them. Cheers — I.M.

images by I.M.
© Chic Prune 2015


24 thoughts on “How Not To Make Croissants

    1. so happy you were laughing. i have a lot of fun in the kitchen, it’s the only way i can spend time in it. i wanted some of the “fun” to be in the post – and hopefully experienced by others.

      and since you’re in holland i imagine great croissants are easily within reach, so you should just stop at Step 1: Don’t Even Try.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You definitely were successful to bring fun to the post.
        I love cooking and having fun. I have a schedule to cook together with some friends – it was yesterday btw, and we have lots of fun and drinks.

        I will surely stop at step 1 with croissants! Thanks for that!


  1. As I’m still struggling to get my cupcakes to turn out right every time, I think I’ll leave the croissants to you. 🙂 I’m looking forward to seeing how they turn out.

    And how to live with your sister and still like her? I think I need that advice. 😀 (Love my sister, but she does drive me nuts sometimes.)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. hey, what are sisters for, right? the post might be written by the both of us, but i know it’ll definitely have her input.

      the plan’s to write it all out and run it everyday with an explanation post first so people know what to expect if they want to share something of their own sibling relationships.

      oh there’s a cool baking/travel case for cupcakes that works wonders, or so my cousin says. the baking tin comes with a cover (when they’re cooled) and is built so the cakes can be pushed from the bottom out instead of pulled out from the top.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. you’re welcome, and happy too. i’ve heard it really is a cool gadget, works well, and the company – chicago metallic – makes good quality stuff. there’s a brownnie pan they make, that’s supposed to give each piece that hard crispy outer edge crust 🙂 i’ve heard 😦

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Nicely done! Love the humorous slant and the illustrations rock! My favorite is the bread chatting up the butter. I so love butter! I tried to go all of February without bread and I made it almost three weeks but then I grumbled aloud one night that I really, really missed sourdough toast and the next morning when I came out to the kitchen JD had bought me a loaf of sourdough bread. Score! Or not, depending on your point of view. But I’m eating sourdough again and not beating myself up about it. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. now i’m imagining you in a boxing ring swinging it out with a loaf of sourdough bread…then you pull a mike tyson and take a bite out of it. now that’s a picture.

      the butter pickup line’s my favorite too. i had the joke for a long time but couldn’t get an image to go with it until i finally asked my sister to draw what was in my head. she got the bread right away, weirdly the butter took work.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. If your croissants end up looking anything like your chocolate pecan pie, I will surely electrocute myself trying to lick the flavor off my screen. Wow. Absolutely delish.
    Good luck with the laminating. I hope you’ll be snapping a lot of photos. I think I’d have to be having an exceptionally delusional day to try and take on croissant baking. I wish you buckets of luck.


    1. if my croissants end up looking lie a pie, i think i might have made a few wrong turns and folds along the way :). still anything i make won’t be as bad as this nonsense at ihop.

      i sorta think this whole croissant thing is delusional too but blogging about it has made it more manageable and somewhat less stressful. unfortunately family’s visiting soon and now they expect a quality breakfast spread!


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